Preparing

Tessa's heart rate and blood pressure have been falling almost consistently for two days. They do what they can to help, but have had to resuccitate her twice and the constant extreme intervention is hard on her system and is stressing her body greatly. She is becoming very weak. Today the doctors prepared us that her body is telling us that she is not able to take much more. And this evening they let me know that they do not expect her struggle to last much longer. If she begins to fight again, they will do all they can, but right now she showing us more and more that she is tired and ready. I am too.

No sooner had I come to the point where I was just praying for mercy for her because she had gotten so ill and looked so bad, that she began to tell us that she had perhaps had enough.

For now, I will continue to set by her bedside and wait, and I will finally get to hold her for the first time when she no longer wants her tubes and wires and such.