Welcome to the world, lovely early birds.

Thank you all for your outpouring of support and prayer for our family.

On Friday May 2nd, I rapidly developed an infection in my uterus which required immediate delivery of the twins. We wanted to make sure that there was no chance that I could pull through the infection and resume lying in wait for longer so that the babies would have more time to develop, but it was clear from my symptoms that I did in fact have an infection that would threaten the pregnancy and I was also becoming ill at a rapid pace that everyone including Derek believed would soon endanger my life as well.

I was not and had not ever been contracting - my body was not in labor and we had no reason to believe it would go into labor. My body wanted to stay pregnant, and all indications were that the babies were healthy in utero as well (for the time being). I simply had a dilated cervix which had allowed infection an open door, and worst had happened. So we had to decide whether to induce labor (senseless) or have a c-section. I underwent general anesthesia for the cesarean, for a slew of reasons.

Sarah Grace Kolbus was born at 8:46 p.m., weighing 1 pound and 8 ounces.
Tessa Marie Kolbus was born at 8:47 p.m., weighing 1 pound and 9 ounces.

Although I was not awake immediately, Derek was able to be with the neonatology team in the room adjoined to my delivery room as they worked to care for our micro-preemies (babies weighing less than 2 pounds at birth). Babies delivered at this age - 24 weeks and 3 days to be exact - had little chance of surviving in many NICUs, such as the one in Marquette where I had originally been admitted. Here at U of M where this is what they do, Sarah and Tess were given about 50/50 odds... not that I gamble. We were always hopeful that they would both be strong and up for the long battle ahead. But it was clear immediately that Sarah was not. She lived for 14 minutes and Derek was able to hold her as she returned to her Heavenly Father.

Tessa is under the 24/7 hands-on care of neonatal nurses and neonatologists in the Holden NICU of Mott Children's Hospital, just down the hall from where I was staying in OB High Risk. I cannot begin to tell you how impressed Derek and I are with the professionalism, high skill, and loving approach here at the U of M Hospitals. They are not mistakenly regarded as the best. Tessa is beautiful and strong. We do have pictures, and will begin posting them when we are ready.

I was discharged this Monday and we had a room waiting for us at the Ronald McDonald House, just across the street from the hospital and easily within walking distance when I am healed from surgery. This place is an incredible blessing. Not only are all of our physical needs met, but it is nice to be in a place where everyone here is in the same or similar circumstances. There are no funny looks for looking like a truck just hit you or for staring out the window at the garden for hours without blinking. There are no people here who would think it strange if I broke down in the serving line at dinner. And perhaps more importantly, there are no people who would be discomforted by that action; they all know where I am at and wouldn't be jumping over the counter to try to hug me or ask me what was wrong. They already know and I can't describe how comforting it is to be in a place where we don't have to explain anything or answer questions to anyone. If I were in a hotel for this time, the other guests would probably think I was nuts. Here, I am actually rather 'together' relative to many.

Derek and the kids will be returning home this weekend, where he will work Mondays through Thursdays and come to be with Tess and I on the weekends. I fully expect that Tessa will thrive and that we will be here through the summer. Her due date was originally August 20th, and we are told that many micro-preemies who go home do so somewhere between 36 and 40 weeks gestational age. So, we are looking at mid-July to mid-August. Derek has a wonderful large family who have embraced our need for Blake and Nadia to be cared for in a loving and consistent environment. Derek will have them with him during the week, as they are all looking forward to some normalcy, and on weekends when he chooses to visit alone, they will be with family again as they were up until earlier this week when they came down to meet their new sister.

I have several arrangements of beautiful flowers in our room here. Thank you to all of you who have sent them. I also have a pile of mail and packages reportedly waiting at the hospital for pick up, and so thank you in advance to each of you who have sent mail.

If you would like to give us a gift in honor of Sarah Grace, please consider doing so by giving to Ronald McDonald House in Ann Arbor, to the Holden NICU or Mott Children's and Women's Hospital, or volunteering your time at a local Ronald McDonald House or NICU. See links on the top right margin of this page.

I plan to begin scrapbooking with other NICU moms on Thursday afternoons at Holden and think it's going to be very therapeutic for me to chronicle Tessa's progress and make a book in memory of Sarah.

Now that we are more easily able to share, I will post more regularly and, as before, this will be my primary mode since I would otherwise have so many people to e-mail or call. Please leave your comments! Please e-mail me responses if you want them private, but whatever you do, please don't be afraid to keep in touch.